The Millennium in limerick form


There was a young saviour from God
Whose views were considered quite odd
As his clothes were ripped off
And he was nailed to the cross
He thought Pilate - ooh what a sod.

There was an inquisition in Spain
Everyone said "Oh no what a pain"
They burned and they prayed
With their Auto da fes
Which rarely went out in the rain.

There was a plague which was black
If you got it you felt pretty crap
Your bits went all rotten
Black death you had gotten
And your extremities didn't grow back.

A frog named Descartes was revered
Til one night he went out to get beered
Barman said "usual or wot"
Rene said "I think not"
Then suddenly he disappeared.

There was a bloke name of Darwin
Everyone said creation he was harmin'
But he thought it was great
To be related to apes
So he married a chimp who was charming.

The second world war killed off lots
With bombs and bullets and pox
The ones left alive Are still traumatised
'Cos it's on every night on the box.

In '82 the Falklands war did kick off
'Cos Costa Mendez got Thatcher quite cross
The Argies they tried
But we made sure they died
While they were eating their Fray Bentos.

But the event that looms largest in time
Brings a tear even to my jaded eye.
Princess Di she is dead
With a car seat through her head
With only one question left: Why?

John Camm